problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize