so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
