im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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