Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
