he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
