Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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