I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She even gives head with a lisp.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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