I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize