Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
