do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize
