I want to have your abortion
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
