I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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