if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
