so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
