Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
