pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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