They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Dicks are not precious.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
