I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
