There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
