He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
