Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
