I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
