Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
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