do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
