is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you traded sex for a burrito?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
