So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
