You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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