Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
