I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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