I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize