I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
