why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How external is "for external use only"?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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