she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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