Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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