i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
