they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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