Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
