forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
