I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
