...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
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