I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You smell like stripper and shame
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Randomize
