have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
