Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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