so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
