can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
