im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
