He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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