I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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