Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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