just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
