I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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