He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
4 words: hood of his car
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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