We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
