1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
