I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dick very happy bro
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