Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
