I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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