Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
