So drunk its hurt
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize