I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
