This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
