Non-Jews are for practice
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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