i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
