there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
